Dialogue 340: Men Don't Cry – Therapy Edition
- Dialogue 340 Team
- May 28
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 7
The Virgin Islands is at a crisis point when it comes to men’s mental health.
Men are struggling in silence because society tells them to "be strong." Generational cycles of trauma are repeating because men are never taught how to deal with emotions. And more men are feeling isolated, unable to express emotions without judgment.
In part two of our episode, hosts Daren and Mikey talk with a dynamic panel — content creator Dishan Bates, professional counselor Tarik McMillan (Greater Changes), and DJ Yessai from 101.3 ROE FM.
The conversation turned to therapy — a word that makes many men squirm.
PART 2: Therapy: A Hard but Crucial Step
If you've ever been curious about therapy but don’t know what to expect, this is the episode for you.
We break down what therapy actually feels like, what to expect in a session, and why confidentiality, trust, and safety are the foundation of real mental wellness.
Therapy 101
So, what does therapy actually look like?
“Therapy for me is just a conversation. It's two people who don’t know each other trying to create a relationship so we can actually do work.” — Tarik
Confidentiality is a crucial aspect of this process, with the only exceptions being cases where there is intent to harm oneself or others 00:53.
“I won't go and tell anybody your business. The only places where confidentiality is broken is if there’s mention of intent to harm yourself or somebody else. And that part about is intent. Just having the ideation doesn't trigger me calling law enforcement, and even then, we’ll have a conversation because I want walk you through that.” — Tarik
Personal Experiences and Challenges
Personal experiences with therapy vary, and the group shared their stories of how therapy has helped them, including finding the right therapist who can relate to their experiences and speak their language. 05:10.
“You could think you’re okay, but you’ve developed up scar tissue and coping mechanisms that you think is cool but could be hindering growth to reach a potential you're trying to get... And it's a conversation. If the therapist is not speaking your language, it’s okay to try another therapist that is.” — DJ Yessai
Daren added his own powerful insight:
“When I went into therapy, I actually requested a Black woman because I relate best to a older Black woman. Some of my relationships with men haven’t been greatest, so for me to open up to somebody to that degree, I chose that." — Daren
Mikey, who has been working through his own therapy journey, confessed how intimidating it felt just to walk into the office:
“Doing the paperwork I was a little nervous because you don't know who you'll be seeing. You hope nobody you know walk through the door.... But I did find the right person for me, where it's always a like a conversation where you talking to your boy, but able to understand why I felt this way." — Mikey
Searching for Community Systems of Self-Care
The group agreed that therapy alone isn’t enough — the Virgin Islands needs community-level solutions. The wealth disparity and stress of daily life can be mentally debilitating, especially for those working multiple jobs or in low-paying positions. 10:09.
"Inequality is engrained in capitalism. Somebody has to lose for this to work. Because the Virgin Islands is so small, the people that are losing, that's us." – Tarik
Added to that, the lack of systems of care can exacerbate mental health issues and make it difficult for people to manage stress and take care of themselves 17:24.
“We don’t have a free gym somewhere, a free park. We need to have those in communities so people and just go and do something.” — Tarik
Stress Management Techniques
Having time for oneself can be crucial for mental health and serve as a means to alleviate stress and worries.
Engaging in activities like art, music, or gardening can be an effective outlet for emotions and a way to relieve stress, and use the resources available to you, like insurance-covered wellness programs and therapy. 19:39
DJ Yessai shared how art and music saved him from crashing out:
“It’s an outlet, it's a catharsis. I can put the emotions of whatever I’m going through I create a song or put on a certain mix and play the feelings out — whether it’s heavy or light. But I have learned with therapy that it can also be a coping thing. You just easing the pain with it.” — DJ Yessai
Dishan and Mikey echoed the importance of finding simple things that you want to do that help you destress, like gardening, getting a pet, or getting in the ocean.
“Find something else to do that will challenge your mind that you would like to do... something else to occupy your time.” — Dishan
"Growing up, the barbershop was my destressor. I can't explain why. I would sit in the chair, especially if I had a really hard week and just get a hair cut. sometimes I would just dose off." – Mikey
Find ways to de-stress, activities that bring joy without payment can help cope with stress and provide a space to breathe. 23:28
“A lot of the things we go through in this community, there is no solution for it. We just have to build the tolerance to deal with it, and find ways to relieve the stress.” — Tarik
Take the Next Step
Men in the Virgin Islands — and everywhere — deserve to live healthy, fulfilled lives without hiding their struggles.
Talk with your friends, not just at them.
Learn to identify what you’re feeling.
Seek professional help if you can. You're not alone.
There’s help right here in the Virgin Islands. Check out these local resources offering support, guidance, and a listening ear.
Jade Family Therapy – jadefamilytherapy.com
A welcoming spot for individuals, couples, and families dealing with stress, trauma, or relationship ups and downs.
Serenity Wellness (Dr. Nour Suid, LPC) – serenitywellnessvi.com
Offers a calm, supportive space to talk through life changes, stress, or feeling stuck.
Island Therapy Solutions – islandtherapysolutions.com
From therapy to psychological testing, they cover a wide range of mental health services for all ages.
Beautiful Dreamers – beautifuldreamers.org
Focuses on community support and mental wellness, helping folks live healthier, happier lives.
Mind Body Health – mindbodyvi.com
Blends mental health therapy with wellness coaching for a whole-person approach to feeling better.
Insight Psychological – insightvi.com
Offers counseling and psychological evaluations, helping you understand and manage whatever you’re facing.
JW Behavioral Center – jwbehavioralcenter.com
Provides therapy, psychiatric care, and help for substance use challenges, all under one roof.
Empath Psychological Services (Dr. Vanessa Battiste) – empathpsychologicalservices.com
Specializes in helping people navigate trauma, grief, and tough emotional times.
Infinite Solutions (Kyla Davis Alexander, LMFT) – infinitesolutionscounseling.com
Offers therapy for individuals and families looking for support through life’s twists and turns.
Buoyant Living (Nisha Jones, LCISW) – buoyantliving.com
Helps people find balance and resilience when dealing with stress, big changes, or life’s challenges.
Sound Mind – Dr. Elisa Niles Thorne, LPC
Provides personalized therapy to help you feel more grounded and mentally strong.
Greater Changes – greaterchangesllc.com
Offers counseling and coaching to help you make positive shifts in your mental health and life.
Dept. of Health - Mental Health Division – (340) 718-1311 ext. 3647
Government services available for crisis support and ongoing mental health care.
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988, 24/7
Free, confidential help anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsafe.
Taking care of your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health. If things feel heavy, reach out — help is here for you.
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